Will It/Won’t It?

One might expect the sale of a co-op apartment that doesn’t need to go through board approval to happen in three months or less. I started wooing this one at the end of August. It is now Nov. 30 and there is no closing date scheduled yet. To add to the fun, my attorney has found out that the seller’s attorney will be going on vacation on Dec. 15–for a month. By the time he returns, I’m scheduled to be out of the country. And my landlady expects that I will be moving out of this apartment in December. I’m starting to wonder if there are Lamaze classes or doulas for home-buyers…

Since the last post, the bank confirmed that they had all but one of the required documents–a form regarding the co-op’s finances that the management company of the building had not sent despite previous requests. On seeing this email, you text the seller’s broker, asking him to check on it. He tells you the manager has already sent it and asks if the bank wants some sort of customized version. You contact the banker again with that query. The banker assures you he received what he needed–before you spent time trying to figure this out with the broker. You take a deep breath and try to feel grateful that the last piece of paperwork is done.

Hah! Gotcha! (says the universe). Not so fast. The lawyer emails you to say that once you receive copies of the “Recognition Agreement” (in triplicate) from the bank, you should sign and send it to her ASAP; she has to send it to the seller for a signature before we can close. You panic since that envelope arrived weeks ago, but because your last experience with these documents suggested that they are signed at closing, you put them aside.

You retrieve them from a pile, sign all three copies (only original signatures, please!) and then take them in person to the attorney’s office after a long workday. You know that the office manager will be there even if the attorneys have left for the day. When you arrive, she takes the forms but explains kindly that you may need to bring a new set–apparently these are printed on both sides, and even though they came from the bank, the bank’s attorney does not like the double-sided printouts. He will be mailing you three new ones printed only on one side. You count to a very high number and remind yourself that the messenger has nothing to do with the message.

She also explains that he will send something called a UCC1 form, which I must complete, sign, and mail back to him with a check for the fee stated in the cover letter. Without this form, they will not schedule a closing date. You go home and try to live your life. When the form arrives, you do as instructed and then mail it back by priority mail with a $75 check.

The banker confirms that they now have every document needed. LOL, not really, j/k. The underwriter (or someone) is still working on approving the building for the loan and the apartment appraiser has yet to submit his report. The banker expects to have the latter by the week of Thanksgiving. I hold out hope that I will be able to give thanks for this. It’s a vain hope. Appropriately enough, all that I get is turkey.

You ask your attorney if the seller’s attorney has a colleague who can do the closing in his place if these issues push the date closer to Christmas. She replies that unless we know where we are in the bank’s process and have a tentative date in mind to close, she can’t ask him to arrange a backup plan. The banker replies that we may get the appraiser’s report this week but it is unclear when the underwriters will clear the submitted documents.

Then, as you are going through your evening preparing for a long work week, the bank’s loan processor calls to explain that the process is almost done–except for the appraisal and the underwriter’s clearance. Horseshoes and handgrenades coming to mind.

It turns out that the appraiser–the second one we got since the first one didn’t get in touch with the broker for mysterious reasons–has had a death in the family. You try very hard to feel sympathetic but you are not a very good person. All you see is more ticking…

The processor also seems to be under the impression that your expected closing date is 2 months away. You try to explain (calmly) that she has the wrong date and that you have told your banker repeatedly that the closing needs to happen in less than 2 weeks. She responds in a voice that social workers might use to convey grim news: not only are we at the mercy of the missing appraisal, which may not be filed till the 3rd of December, the government has new regulations that require you to wait three days after loan documents are cleared (which may not be till mid-December) before you can schedule a closing.

You try to make peace with the fact that you are in a silent movie that involves a fair amount of pain.

The processor explains that there is a form that can be filed to bypass the wait period but if we wait for snail mail, it will take too long to get me the form. So she’s going to email me something that will let me authorize her to email me the form when it is time. She explains that I have to go through the bank’s process of setting up a secure email account for that document. I listen through a fog and try to make appropriate human noises of acknowledgement. I don’t have the energy to explain that I already have that account set up.

The silent movie continues…

 

 

 

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One Response to Will It/Won’t It?

  1. Just . . . wow. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I do remember another friend (hmm, also a single woman) going through something very similar a year or so ago, and it dragging on and on like this . . .

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